Ellen confirmed for Whip It, and my eyes bleed

Looks like Ellen has indeed joined the cast of Whip It, Drew Barrymore's directorial debut.

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"I really admire how Drew constantly challenges herself as an artist," Page says. "She's proven herself as an actress and a producer, and I have no doubt she'll bring great vision and creativity to the director's chair. I can't wait to kick ass on wheels!"
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I love her sarcasm. It IS sarcasm, right?

Ellen also appeared on Oprah today. At least she isn't completely cancel-happy, right? Here's the complete transcript:

Oprah: Please welcome Ellen Page.
Oprah: Hello Ellen, tell me about the movie.
Ellen: Well, it's about...
Oprah: Please welcome JENNIFER GARNER!!
Jennifer: Omigod! Oprah!
Oprah: Omigod! Jennifer! How's Ben and Violet?
Jennifer: Omigod! They're great!

Okay, it didn't exactly go like that word-for-word, but it's pretty close. I also discovered I had developed bloodshot eyes after watching Oprah. Were my eyes trying to kill themselves, or was it just a coincidence?